Memory Triggers Day Five

Day Five - Touch/Feel

The softness of Bentley
The warmth of sun on pavement on bare feet and hands
Dog fur
Kiss on my temple
Andrew's clothing
Afhgan
Piano keys
Mom's hugs
Airplane seat fabric
Andrew's skin
Migraine
Hand on the small of my back
Hug
Kiss
Butterfly kisses
Snowflakes on eyelashes
Andrew's hair
Smooth stones
Beach glass
Sand
Water
Satin
My camera

Many of these touches/feelings I remember things from, but most of them I just identify with. They make me comfortable and they comfort me. A lot of things that I touch are sort of zen objects, like running my hands under water or playing with a smooth stone in my hand. They relax and de-stress my mind and body. Others just make me feel loved.

Memory Triggers Day Four

Day Four - Taste

Lemon jello cheesecake
Fay's caesar salad
PB sandwiches, granola bars and apples
Chocolate chippers
Chicken and white sauce
Ham and cottage cheese
Cheeze Whiz and peanut butter
Malibu
Ham and chip sandwiches
Calippo
Orange squash (the British drink)
Hula Hoops
Buttons
Treacle pudding with custard
Two kinds of Compliments brand macaroni and cheese, mixed, after a party
McCain's peach frozen concentrate
Grilled cheese
Primo soup and a toasted bagel with butter
Raspberry coulis
DQ ice cream cake
Jalepenos
Easy mac
Kit Kat, Aero, Coffee Crisp
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Frosty mints
Hugs and kisses (Hershey's)
Sidekick
The ribber w/garlic mash
Southwest potato skins
Pear, yogurt, little piece of candy and a popsicle
Fat slop: brown sugar, butter, granola, coconut, maple syrup

I have always loved food. I love to cook/bake it and eat it. Sometimes the simplest recipe from my childhood can taste so much better than any elaborate creation I can conjure up in the kitchen. Any type of food that I ate in large quantities for a certain period of time will remind me of that time period if I eat it now. Certain foods will take me to one day or night when circumstances made that item important or meaningful to me.

Most of these things remind me of home. Meals Mom always cooks or cooked for me, and things I used to love to eat when I was a child. Some of them take me to places I've been in my travels. Some take me back to specific occasions, like raspberry coulis and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. When something tastes exactly as it did when I used to have it at home, I am instantly transported there.

Memory Triggers Day Three

Day Three - Sound

The word "bejesus"
Floyd's piano playing
Creaky stairs at my house
Waves crashing
"Strange Disease" - Prozzak
Music in general, especially "Barely Breathing" - Duncan Sheik, "High" - The Lighthouse Family, "Bittersweet Symphony" - The Verve, and "Belief" - Gavin DeGraw.
The Wave
K-100 before it got stupid
Stick shift in reverse
Crickets
Jazzy's collar jingle
Stick shift stalling
Splashing
Rocks skipping
Rocks plunking in the water
Skis carving, especially on ice
KKKS laughing
Andrew's resonating lows
Andrew's voice
Mitch saying "Prag" and "P-rag"
Keel's storytelling and the almost tangible, hearable tension while we listen
Thunder
Wind
Sax, clarinet, acoustic guitar, drums
Andrew playing piano
Band
Pouring rain


Sounds are a little less important to me than images and smells. They don't really take me back to certain events when I hear them. It's more like I identify with them when I hear them, and they mean something to me. However, some of them are directly related to memories I have.

In general, hearing a lot of these sounds just makes me feel at peace, either with the world, or with myself.

Memory Triggers Day Two

Day Two - Sight

Sunlight dancing on sparkling snow
Dewdrops hanging from hair-thin lengths of spiderweb
The couch
Pouring rain
Treehouse
Blizzards
Sunsets
Sunrises
Eiffel Tower
Hair out the window in the wind
My splatter wall
Sun chasing us
Mountains
Fog
Your eyes
Hampton roads
Cedar Ridge Blvd
Citadel Drive
Birchdale Avenue
The sunniest view on the windiest plain
Andrew's computer room
Photographs
The glow of my blue pc
Andrew's room
The room in Andrew's house with the fireplace
Flying over treetops in WoW
Through a viewfinder
Sun filtering through tree branches
Sunlight glinting off Katie's pool and reflecting in sunglasses
Through my car windshield from the driver's seat perspective on Pettingill, Gondola, Quispamsis, Marr, Clark, Parkdale and Gondola Point roads


Most of these images represent on a small scale what I have spent a large period of time in my life doing. They are like a microcosm of my life. And when I see any of them, or am in any of these situations, the period of time in my life where I spent the most time doing those things or seeing those images comes to mind all at once. Rather than pinpointing specific moments, they lead my thoughts to lengthy periods of time in which these events dominated, or they link separate occasions when I've seen these things that are important to me into a lump sum. For example, "Sunlight glinting off Katie's pool and reflecting in sunglasses" does take me to a specific moment when I took a photo of her at her pool with her sunglasses, but more importantly, it takes me back to the many summers we spent pouring our hearts out into the chlorinated waters.When I see "Sun filtering through tree branches" I am reminded of an idea that underscores a lot of my creative photography - how do I get the sun not to be light, but to be lines and shapes? I also envision child-like laughter and swinging in a park.

Although seeing these photos in real life and remembering what they link to in my life can be a highly nostalgic situation for me, it is not as strong as the connections to memory that I get through smell. The "sight" sense is more of a reflection on sections of my life in which I felt certain ways.

Memory as a Way of Life (Memory Triggers Day One)

I've always been a nostalgic person. Memories, to me, are almost as important as the things that happen to me in the present. I'm always thinking about memory, and its function in my life. What has made me this way? I want to know why I dwell so much on the past and build the future on it. I want to know what things trigger memories in me. Why do I remember certain things over others?
Also, I want to know what it is that makes something a memorable moment for me. Do I know, as something is happening, that I will remember it for the rest of my life? Do I create memories of events that wouldn't otherwise be remembered by blogging about them?
I have now begun the thought process that explores all of these questions.

The first part of my exploration is a five day series on my tangible and intangible memory triggers, divided into the five senses: Smell, Sight, Sound, Taste, and Touch (in which I have encompassed Feel).

Day One - Smell

Wet pavement, right after the rain
Freshly cut grass
Dew
Fallen leaves
Flower stems
Satsuma
Cologne (depends on the kind, but most)
Freshly baking cookies
Pen ink
A very specific aftershave my dad used to use
Roses
Fresh new books
Mud
Rain
Starry night air
Ocean
Jazzy
Instrument brass
Reed
Old piano wood
Snow
Twizzlers
Airplane fuel
Goldenrod
Eggo Waffles
Campfire
Yellow school bus seats
Working computer
Snowstorm
Wet paint
Whatever Andrew's mom uses in the dryer

Smells bring back bad memories and good memories, short occurrences and long periods of time in my life, strange happenstances and sometimes just atmospheres. To some it may seem like smells are trivial, but to me, they are pivotal. They make me remember things. If I smell something that I haven't smelled in a long time, that I subconsciously related to something that happened to me, smelling that scent will bring everything about that event back. The problem with this is that if I smell the wrong thing at the wrong time, you've got a bad situation. However, at the same time, give me the right smell at the right time, and I'll love you forever.

Oh, the Irony.

Here I was, this Thanksgiving weekend, sitting in my dorm room, lonely, while most of my building was at home, seeing their family, and visiting with all the friends they missed so much. Or so I thought. While I was pining for home and all the people that are such a huge part of my life, my friends were at home sitting alone just like I was. A lot of them went home but didn't even attempt to connect with anyone they claimed to "miss". I don't understand. The people that get to go home are the people who do the least with that privilege.

In moving so far away, I assumed that I would come to hate Thanksgiving naturally, because I would be sitting alone while my friends all got to go home. But now I hate it even more, because the people who have so much to be thankful for do nothing at all with it. This frustrates me to no end.

Autumn is here in Beautiful British Columbia

I bike to class and I feel it. Autumn.
Autumn is leaves crunching, it is temperatures dropping, it is steamy breath on the trek to enlightenment. It is the feeling that the atmosphere of our world is something tangible -- something we can grasp at will and crack with force. Autumn surrounds us with the golden hues of optimism. And when I am in the deepest of struggles, I look to it for freedom.
Feeling out of place and drawn to so many different locations, autumn speaks to me of home, but not in the sense that this is the place where my soul stops searching. Autumn speaks of home in such a way that I can sense its palpable atmospheric tension, and my lost spirit settles and can at least stop and rest for a while.
Memories are hanging from the dew drops on morning spiderwebs, soft and distant but oh so close and focused. I am away, but I am there. You can hear me whispering your name to the stars as I lay me down to rest and think only of you and our redemption that will blow along the ever changing, ochre gold shades of autumn.

Run For The Cure 2008

It's all over. I ended up finishing with Sarah with a time of 32 mins. She blew by me right at the end. Totally made me realize that I am not as over my sickness as I thought I was. Oh, and cross country practice is going to be BRUTAL tomorrow. If Mrs. Mawer makes us do ten hills, I think I'm going to puke. Our team also lost to Saint Mac's, by approximately one thousand dollars which is a little disappointing, but at least we raised $11000 in the first place!:D
I'm off to finish my homework and read the end of my fabulous book, Eclipse.
Peace and Love.

Passing Thoughts


Do not believe
because you read it in a book
Do not believe
because you saw it on television
Do not believe
because science says so
Do not believe
because a famous person says so
Do not believe
because a wise person believes in it
Do not believe
because your best friend believes it
Do not believe
because everyone else believes it
Do not believe
because others have believed in it for thousands of years
Do not believe
because you've heard it so many times before
Do not believe
because you are told, you must
Do not believe
because others expect you to
Do not believe
because it gets you accepted
Do not believe
because it will make your parents happy
Do not believe
because it will get you noticed
Do not believe
because you want to believe
Do not believe
because you can't afford not to
Do not believe
because it helps you to cope
Do not believe
because you must believe in something
Do not believe
because it makes sense
Do not believe
any of this......
Believe only that, ''you are''
and do not even believe that
for that is,
beyond belief~

(Author Unknown)

Adryan Rotica

Game on!

Today is run for the cure day. I have NO idea what is going to happen. I can't wait! I have been sick for a week, I went to the gym on Thursday and ran for less than ten minutes and before that hadn't run for a week, I've been training with cross country though, last year my time was 25 minutes, my goal this year was third place for women, but now I still have that goal at the back of my head but I know that it doesn't matter cause I don't want to kill myself, and I'm really happy. I am going to run my freaking heart out, and if it's not good enough, it's not good enough. I hope it is, so here's to hoping! There will be an insta-update of this blog when I get back.:P I would be extremely happy with another 25 mins. I also don't know if my school's ten thousand is going to be enough to beat saint mac's. Last year we needed 12,500 to beat them. We'll see! I think they were a little late to start this year. Heh, suckers.
P.S. - I PASSED MY CHEM TEST!! I GOT A 93!!!
Anyway, I've got to go get my water and everything ready. THINK PINK PEOPLE!
Peace and love.

Think Pink - Barbie
uh huh,
uh huh,
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
waohhh,
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
waohhh,
Hey girl can u hear the band?,on your feet clap your hands,
now where ganna have our say, every girl has her day.
yeah,
hay now can u hear me sing?, girls can be anything!
let me give you some good advice,
listen up girl and get it right,
Seek every posibility, take every opitunity,
u know u got it going on,
(come on come on come on )(come on come on come on )
Think Pink if your like no other girl
(think pink) and u will discover girl (think pink)
its your favorite colour girl,
its the colour of the world
(think pink) coz your like a shining star
(think pink) just being who you are
(think pink) ull be going very far
listen to me girl,
THINK PINK!
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
waohhh,
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
waohhh,
hey girl u can be so free just be who you want to be,
we girls ganna shake it up,
take on the world and wake it wake it up.
Seek every posibility, take every opitunity,
u know u got it going on,
(come on come on come on )(come on come on come on )
Think Pink if your like no other girl
(think pink) and u will discover girl (think pink)
its your favorite colour girl,
its the colour of the world
(think pink) coz your like a shining star
(think pink) just being who you are
(think pink) ull be going very far
listen to me girl,
THINK PINK!
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
waohhh,
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
waohhh,
climb evry hill there is to climb,
reach for the higher every time (every time)
you know yougot the pwer girl,
you got enough fire to light up the world,
jump a little higher like i know u can,
paint the town pink come on join the band,

come on come on come on,come on come on come on,come on come on come on,come on come on come on,
think pink,think pink, think pink
its the colour of the world
think pink,think pink, think pink
listen to me girl

(think pink) and u will discover girl (think pink)
its your favorite colour girl,
its the colour of the world
(think pink) coz your like a shining star
(think pink) just being who you are
(think pink) ull be going very far
listen to me girl,
THINK PINK!

Enthalpy Changes Make My Head Freeze Up

My head hurts from thinking about trying my chem review.
I looked at the first question, tried a few things, failed, and stopped trying.
Katie said she'd help me with it later.
Today I went out to some places close to my house to pass out pre-sale letters for Yearbook Ad Sales. Went well except that Mom's at work so I had to bike and I neglected to oil the chain and pump up the tires after two years of non-usage. I ended up with the chain off the cogs a few times and some greasy hands, but nevertheless, I got the job done. I then returned home for my kraft dinner and foreboding chem.
In an hour I have to babysit, so I just thought I'd come on for a little bit. I have been wanting to get on here for a few days now to talk about last week and about my recent portfolio advancements.
So last week at school was pink week, to raise money for Run for the Cure, which is this Sunday, the day after a cross country meet. Kind of sucks for me so I'm just not going to try very hard at the meet.
The biggest part of pink week is pink day, and this year I was pinker than ever before. I had no adversary for the pinkest girl in schoo. This year we raised over $10 000.
This week I gave in my application for the Saint John Art Centre Portfolio Development Program. With this program, I am virtually guaranteed acceptance to whichever university I want. Cross your fingers, people! I will probably hear back the week of the 13th.
Peace and Love.

Her


I sit
Alone, Tired
Watching the clouds drift by
The sun slips down day into night
Beneath the coldhearted orb I see her
Still. Her memory haunts my dreams.
Memories are all I
have to hold, so
I sit

Jims Milks