Catching up

So yeah I decided that I'd better get caught up on a bunch of stuff to keep you posted. I DID promise that i would keep this going, didn't i? So first I have to tell you about the cross country provincials in Fredericton. Wow.. that was a long time ago. Anyway.. It was BRUTAL! i officially HATE o'dell park. It is soooo hilly... and it was muddy and silppery and gross. The whole time round I felt like my legs were lead. And then at the end i sprinted sooo hard but i just couldn't catch the person in front of me. Whatever. The junior girls did pretty bad, but Senior girls won the banner! Go KVHS! Speaking of banners, the field hockey team did great this weekend at Provincials, they brought home the banner too! Again I say, Go KVHS! Woot! lmao... there is no more space in the gym for more banners.... xd. Anyways. Sports are going really well so far for the crusaders.
Another thing I had to tell about was the youth service in kingston. I know a lot of people didn't really enjoy it, but to me, it was wonderful. I felt so close to God, and after, all my problems about school didn't seem so bad. I felt like he had wanted me to come back to him, and he gave me a way through that service. I felt so good. I could feel him working in me that night. And ever since then i can feel it more and more. im coming back to the heart....(8)

Kraft Dinner, warm clothes, rain, and my blog

Ahh.... feels good to be warm again:) I went for a run this afternoon in the freezing cold rain. It was awesome. I went partly because I was royally pissed, and partly because I haven't been for a run since friday, provincials. I was really mad because of my afternoon at school. In math, last period, we had a supply, Mme. Corm. I was already tired, and after hearing her high, loud, squeaky voice for five minutes straight I already had a headache. Besides that, she is Russian and can not pronounce french words to save her life. Plus, she was trying to explain stuff to us in math and I have no idea what the hell we are doing. It was just bad. And then to top it off, i'm like twenty pages off finishing the best book ever, and as it turns out, it's going to be a cliffhanger ending, leading into the next book, and I AM FLAT BROKE AND CAN'T BUY IT! *fumes hysterically*... Anyways.. I needed to pound it all out with a good run.:) Felt amazing. And now, after my shower, I'm sitting here all warmed up with a good old bowl of kraft dinner, contemplating. Today I went for a run up in Cedar Ridge. I didn't feel like doing the commons one. And I went a little bit of a different way. Ended up having flash backs from when i used to live there. It was strange. Reminded me of how weird it was to move away from there, and how I always used to say when i was a kid that I would buy that house back when I grew up. I always knew that would never happen but I just wanted to believe it. It took me years to get used to the new house. Years. And now it feels like home. But there's always the pang I get in my stomach when I go by that house on birchdale. I think it's just the childish memories coming back to me, reminding me of what things used to be like. I'm not sure. But I think I finally have let go of it.

Now It's time for some serious stuff...

Thinking a lot lately. It's up to you to decide whether or not it's me thinking too much. Since I tend to do that a lot i rarely notice it anymore... Anyway. Just been having an in-depth conversation about school. Seems that the general opinion about this year is that it's wasting our lives away. That we're just going there to do our time. It's like a jail sentence. I find myself constantly feeling stifled. I don't have any creativity anymore. I feel no spark, no inspiration. Not from school anyway. I'm having to find the time in my already busy life to make my own inspiration. It's not working very well. I'm constantly looking at the clock now. Counting down the weeks, the days until the weekend, the days until I don't have to go back because of holidays, the minutes before each bell rings, taking me to yet another death sentence. School is nothing. I don't learn, I take nothing in. I go home the same person I was when I left in the morning. It's dead. I look around and I don't see that much spirit anymore. I don't know if it's the new grade nines, or the loss of the old grade twelves that is making us lose ourselves but it must be something. I don't feel as much of a community as I did last year. I just don't feel it. I go to all of these meetings at lunch for committees and groups but i don't see the fire. I don't feel the flame. It's like they're just going to go and it's really not going to do anything to change their outlook or influence their lives. They're just there because. That's not the right reason. You have to want it. There's no want. There's no passion. We are just there. No reason at all. There because we have to be. The passion we used to have is gone. Life is meaningless. And that's why school causes me so much pain right now. For the first time in my life, I don't want it. I don't want it at all. Not only does it cause me all of this confusion, but it is separating me from my friends. My friends, my heart, my soul, my body, my mind. I can no longer channel my emotions so well. I am hiding. I am afraid, and I feel alone. And even so, I go to these meetings. I go to my classes. And i feel myself drifting from everyone else. Because they no longer go. It's coming full circle now. I am afraid.

Fun with dick and jane. Just kidding.. max and stephen

HI EVERYONE OUT THERE, I'M STEPHEN AND I'M AT BECCA'S HOUSE AND I'M YELLING WITHOUT OPENING MY MOUTH. THAT CURTAIN IS ANNOYING ME, BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE OUTSIDE.
Well then open the curtains, Stephen. - Becca
I dont' know how, you do it - steve
Go pull the string by the other side - Becca
kay kay, jas - steve
OMG YOU DID NOT JUST SAY KAY KAY!!! *gags* I can't believe you! - Bec
Bah! simple, just to burn the cat! -max
Max, that doesn't make any sense - steve
Or, maybe shoot the dog -Max
WTF! YOU CAN'T SHOOT JAZZ! (in case you didn't know, Jazzy is my corgi and i love her:)) - Bec
a corgi is a dog:D - steve
bitch - steve
NO really?? thank stephen....so, any body want a pony? -Max
that's getting old - steve
Stephen, stop to play with the door -Max
stop playing* - steve
Hah, we should make this blog about correcting Max's grammatical errors. xd - Bec
Not funny....lol. Steven, too funny to try to play a chinese guy's -max
Lmao Stephen just called Megan and Said ALLO THIS LING CHOW! WHY YOU NO CALLING ME AND MAMA NO MORE! He thinks they put him on speakerphone so he hung up.xd. - Bec
So, what differnece between me and god? -max
wow max. shut up. just shut up. although i definately think that that's the best random question yet. - bec
did you download sweet temptation yet? - steve
No i didn't i forgot. - bec
it's written on your pencil case. - steve
>.> .... I can't believe it. Wow... Don't know what to say. Is it really written on my pencil case?! - bec
Yeah. - steve
*sighs* be right back. bec
my dog named puce -max
what we doing now? -max
*reads pencil case* - bec
oh damn. it really is written on there. - bec
who sings it? - bec
lillix. - steve
oh right.. that's on the pencilcase too...... i'm going to stop making a fool of myself now. - bec
good idea. - steve
so....pop..pocorn? -max
popcorn, max. - bec
and do you really want popcorn? i can make some. - bec
doesnt matter...is just a random stuff. but, if you want it..it's your choice -max
you know, now i want some. xd. be back. - bec
*runs upstairs*
carzy XD....so, we wait....1 2 3 4....6?? euh no....i think it's 7..no, it's vbecause it's atfer 6..so, 5 because it's a great sound...maybe....i'm alone, and i do some random stuff same, POTATO, alligator...and finally, DONUTS...hmmmm.....Tim horton is at 5min at walked....maybe later, when i will have some money to paid..because i'm poor...If stephen would to borrow me some...so i leave -max
wow that's random.
mmm popcorn - bec
max you have ten thousand dollars in your bank account! I HAVE THREE HUNDRED TWENTY SEVEN! - steve
now we're pranking katie:) - bec
damn the popcorn is gone
she hung up on stephen - bec
i think she was sleeping - steve
okay, i think that's enough of a look into the life, however interesting, of becca max and stephen. we shall not bore you any longer. please come back for more blogs from becca! I still have to tell all about cross country provincials. remind me. :) Later days.
YAH TINO! - steve

You know you're cold when...

the garage floor doesn't feel cold because your feet are the same temperature... I'm serious. I went in there to get stuff for cleaning *barfs* today and i didn't have anything on my feet and I couldn't feel the cement. Can you say, winter is coming? You know, people have already started singing Christmas carols! Well I say, shoot me now! I can't stand Christmas carols unless it's like Christmas holiday. If it isn't, then they just get me in a real foul mood, which happens often enough anyway...xd. Yeah. We have had to start putting the heat on in the house and everything. Well, not in my room. If you know me well enough you already know that I haven't had the heat on in my room for years. I <3 blankets:). I still haven't been smart enough to turn the heat on down here in the basement though so I am frozen like an icicle every time i come down here. You know, I don't think I spelled that right. HA! That makes me think of Akeelah and the Bee! lmao believe it or not, that was quite the good movie. Kate and I (I stayed at her house friday night after Science Pojecting) rented two movies. It's her strategy. We rent a scary one and watch it first and then a nice happy one to make it all better lol.:). We watched Amityville Horror and then Akeelah and the Bee which is about this girl who goes to the National Spelling Bee. It was cute. Amityville horror was crazy. Graphics.. ugh. Still in my head. Haha at least I could sleep after! Kate had to hide in her bed and all she could see was that dead girl standing at the end of her bed staring at her! Wow... Anways after that we went to bed and Kate got up majorly early to go to hockey practice and then we went to work at QMS. We scored and timed two entirely bad basketball games. The kids still don't know how to play...xd. Whatever it's money. Then we went skating at free skate and Alex was there. That was fun.:)
And then we played cards and I came home and had Andrew over. That was fun too. But there ends my interesting weekend. Today has been sooo boring. I'm freezing cold, and it's the transition between summer and winter.. I wish it would just frigging become winter so that the cold actually does something! I need snow! And i had to clean, I have yet to do homework, and I went to church. But oh well Stephen just called me and he and Max are going - oh haha the doorbell just rang.. xd - anyway to continue, they're coming over. Er, are here. And then later I get to go to youth. Well, a youth concert with youth group. Oh and on friday i went to cross country provincials in Freddyville. More about that later:)

I have a blog!

This is crazy. You always hear all this talk about blogs, and people blogging, and it becoming the latest craze, etc etc. But now I'm doing it! Wow... Well, I did have that random msn space thing... but that was really dumb. No one ever looked at them and I never really wrote anything unless something special happened. This, on the other hand... hehe. I'm going to try to write as much as I can. It will be a place where I can just vent thoughts and bounce ideas off the computer screen. That's why I've called it ripples in my mind... it's a place where I can come to think, or the opposite. Where I can sort out my thoughts. Where I can try to make my brain understand what my heart is saying and vice versa. Anyways, enough of my ranting. Thank you Vicki, for giving me this idea:) Comments welcome, pleases!

Becs