Fear at Its Best

Fear.

Now what is that?

I always thought that there was nothing to fear,

But fear itself.

Now, I wonder.

I know that I should never be afraid of something,

Should attack it head on,

With an open mind and heart.
But I am genuinely afraid this time. My fear is of the unknown. Not spiders, enclosed spaces, or heights. Although it feels like I'll have a mountain to climb.

This whole year (being '06) has been about change. Change in people, change in friends, change of heart, change in family, change in faith, change in outlook. School has changed, home has changed, life has changed. Last year, we said goodbye to a great grad class. We said hello to summer. What a summer. I gained so much from it, and lost so much more at the same time. Then it was back to school and I felt like i'd lost even more. Last year's grads are sorely missed, it makes life at KV much different. And then when I start to look ahead, I am scared. Fear at its best has got a hold on me. It's unknown, what will happen. But based on what I know, losing another year of grads is going to be harder than ever. And another summer like the one just passed? I don't know if I can stand to lose that much again. A friend, a family... enough to last a lifetime. I know I changed a lot. For the better, and for the worse. But I am afraid of how much change can do to you. I wonder if my determination is strong enough for me to hold on. I contemplate what will happen between now, and when my best friends leave, and when I become the best friend. The grad. And then when I become the best friend that leaves...